Jiang Yilei, better known as Papi Jiang, is one of China's most popular online celebrities. In less than four years, she has accumulated more than 30 million followers on Sina Weibo, not counting other platforms, with her fast-talking satirical videos.姜逸磊最让人熟知的名字莫过于papi酱。她是中国最受欢迎的网红之一。不到4年的时间，她就凭借连珠炮般的讽刺题材视频在微博上吸引了3000多万粉丝，这还不算上其他平台的粉丝。
On a recent variety show, she shared her views on how to get along with parents-in-law. Jiang revealed that she and her husband would separately go back to their own parents' home during Spring Festival, and that parents of each side haven't met since the couple started dating.
She said that as parents care most for their own son/daughter, it makes sense for children to visit their own parents first. Because of this, she seldom has relationship troubles with her parents-in-law.
Some showed support toward this approach, saying that parents from both sides could have company during Spring Festival in this way. "No need to be forced to reach a compromise on where to go."
Others disagreed. "This makes me feel too disconnected as a family," said one. Another commented: "It is more like a girlfriend and a boyfriend instead of a wife and husband."
Others said variety in understanding toward marriage is natural, and the couple are lucky enough to have parents who are open-minded.
Indeed, how to get along with your parents-in-law is a question for everyone who's got married — and not just in China. It seems as if families all over the world quarrel about where to spend the biggest holidays of the year.
Well my in-laws live halfway across the country and my husband works in retail, so seeing them for the holidays hasn't been an option since he transferred out here (before we even met). So now our holidays are spent between us and my family. I remember when I told my family we wouldn't be there for Christmas Eve or Christmas morning anymore. My dad didn't like it and gave me a hard time, but I let him know it wasn't up for discussion; we were staying home and would see them later in the day.
Alternate between families
We alternate between our families for Christmas. For Thanksgiving and other holidays, they usually celebrate on different days anyway, and we go to both.
Both families come to the our home
We always have Thanksgiving at our house and both of our families come, so there is no issue there! For Christmas Eve, we go to my husband’s family's house and then for Christmas, we go to my sister's house. It works out really well.
Create your own get-together
My advice is to see it as splitting your time not between two families, but three. You and your husband are a family, too, and the most important one. Look at a calendar and prioritize the holidays you want to spend with just the two of you, then fill in time with both sides. Also, remember that you don't have to celebrate on the specific day. You can have a second Thanksgiving a few days later and another Christmas one week before or even on New Year's.
Try for happy, not fair or perfect.
My father always tells me that “fair" is a term used to describe the weather, nothing more. Work toward making your family (you and your husband) happy. It's never going to be perfect. Time will never be split 50/50 down the middle. Do what's best for you, and do not be afraid to adjust. My husband and I change our schedule almost every year. If we felt we should have gone and didn't, we apologize. If we went and felt it wasn't a good use of time the previous year, when the next year comes, we thank the host for the invitation and send our regrets. Try for happy, not fair or perfect.
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